sheety!

if there is only another word to replace boredom, i would use it. coz ¡'m simply bored of using the word boredom to describe the past 3 weeks. how bout monotonous? nah, too long. how bout shitty? ya, its been 3 shitty weeks.

"darkness imprisoning me, all that i see absolute horror! i cannot see, i cannot die, trapped in myself, body my holding cell...."

words from james hetfield, song: one, album :...and justice for all

penah dengar lagu ni? hah lagu ni pasal ex-vietnam soldier crippled, lost his hands, legs, eyes... i kinda feel like that. helpless.

*****
"when a man lies, he murders some parts of the world, these are the pales tales which men miscalled their lives, this i cannot bear to witness any longer,cannot the kingdom of salvation, take me home..."

words : cliff burton, song: to live is to die

Renewal

Blog ni dah tak diupdate sekian lama atas sebab2 yang sengaja aku malas cakap sebab cakap pon tak guna per. Ni aku update la ni. Dah diam jangan ckp banyak lagi....

Fall
This is where and when everything feels so right
The time that never seems to pass
Feelings that always on a high note
The place to be whatever it may be
You are always there
You are everywhere
Even in darkness
Or far away somewhere in nowhere
But here is where I want to be
In this bliss territory
Falling helplessly gracefully inside your heart
The time it never seems to pass
Feelings that always on cloud nine
To feel I'm yours and you are mine

Mosh05

Juz" A Peek!

First of all, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri To All!Maafkan kalau ade terkasar bebel di ruangan ini atau di kotak-kotak komen kaorang...

D3 & MEAMI -KORANG TAK BAYO BIL TEL. KE DAH TUKO NO ??? Wa telepon banyak kali!erkkkk...

NONGCHA - aku sms ko, tak seribalaspun, aku nak telepon ko takut kopun kena charge n ko taksuke,maklumla spore 2,2kena charge..neway,hope u r ok!

Lama aku tak membebel kat c ni,reason: sibuk giler!takyah cerita la...
neway, aku malas nak blog anything..aku paste je short story yg aku scribble 2 minggu lepas...caloo..

BOY!O'BOY!

This is a story about a boy who lost his way in search for a place in the heart of the world. He seeks beauty yet beauty is nowhere in sight. He searches happiness but happiness failed to appear. He looked out for a companion only to find solitude. Where did he gone wrong? He thought.

Empty handed; he continues his journey. His mind wandered as swift as his feet takes him further to the end of the world. He stopped to watch the birds. And thought; how it would be great if he could fly like the bird. Soaring high above in the sky. Touching the clouds and sits on top of the mountain.

Then his eyes looked at the sea. How big and vast the waters are. How it could fill the earth and spread the reflection of the sky so beautifully like a huge mirror. Then he wished he were the sea. To as be big and strong. As he watches and amazed at the waves of the sea, he felt a cool breeze upon his face and body.

Then he told himself, would it be nice if he were the wind. It would be better than being a bird. He would be invisible. He would go anywhere in the world without anyone seeing him He would go as high or higher than the birds and blow the trees and the sea.

And then he saw the sun. How powerful the sun is; he thought. Why am I not the sun? he thought. He would shine so bright and makes the rainbow after the rain. But then he thought, when it's night then the sun would disappear and gone. He wouldn't want that. He doesn't want to be replace by the moon. He sighs.

His eyes gazed at the mountain afar. So majestic and beautiful; he thought. Not like here where he is standing. He then closed his eyes and pictured himself flying like the bird soaring to the mountain. How beautiful is the sea underneath him. He could see his own reflection on the surface. He sees wings spread wide and the sparkles in the waters below. He could also see some fishes swimming around.

He feels the wind blowing against his face and the resistance uplifts his body. He looked up and saw the sun smiling at him. The warmth of the sun and the ray lights his way. And then he flew over and through the rainbow. What a wonderful feeling!

As he nears the peak of the mountain, he felt eager to reach it. The wonderful sight that he seen from the beach. The beautiful place he flew from far to see and feel. But then as he reaches the top, he eyes saw nothing but rocks, small bushes and some snow. This is not the splendor I saw from below; he told himself. This is so ordinary. Nothing special.

He felt disappointed. He sat on the rocks with his hands on his head looking down. He suddenly felt the cold that the peak present. He also felt the loneliness there.
He lifted his head and watch straight at the place where he flew from. He stared and told himself, "What a beautiful sight!" . And he suddenly realized that before this, that place was just common as common as where he sits now. But now, it turns to be a sight to look at.

He asks himself, "What is beautiful?"

He opened his eyes and sees that he is still there. He didn't fly to the mountain. He was never the bird that flown across the sea and soared high in the clouds. He was never the wind, the sun or even the moon.

But for a moment before, he was everything. He was free. He was everywhere. And that was beautiful!

Feeding My Insanity

Come inside, join me
Feed my insanity
Hold my hand, look at me
I¡¦m your reality
Watching the days that never ends
Playing god in the small silent world
Working out the curves and the bends
Falling deeper, twisting further, swirls
Feel the joy, laugh with me
We are hungry
Heed the words, let them be
Now can you see?
Living inside a cruel box
Tasting life that never reached
Faking death to make it stop
No more time to burn the brigde

bebeling away!

i'm out of words to write. juz bcoz nothin new is happening in ma life. not much to share anyway.
sometimes too much of a good thing is bad for me. come to think of it, too much of a bad thing is also, well ofkoss is always bad for anybody. apa yg aku membebel ni siak.

today i listened to Battle of Los Angeles album by Rage Against The Machine twice. and really listened. and realized why this band is so brilliant. this is their 2nd last studio album before they disband. well to be exact, their frontman zack got out. i think released 3 years back, even forgot when i bought em. nevemind.

actually i'm killing time right now. bebeling away. got apt at 10pm. dont wanna go home 1st coz i wud b malas to get out again. so here i am, nothing important to point out. its 9.20pm now. so got about 20minutes to kill away!

Jodi o Jodi

Juz watch Flightplan. Reason : Jodie Foster. Comments : better watch it on vcd..mengantuk sikit, dah lah sejuk. Cerita yang boleh diagak jalan ceritanya. antiklimak pun ada. Ratings : 2 asteroid 3 bulan.

words

responsibilty ~ adakah datang dari the ability to response, the will to act, the power to submit, the discipline to pursue?
bahasa melayunya "tanggungjawab" kan? ~ org yg kena jawab - jawab = penyelesaian, tanggung = sara , tentunya bukan saraselesai tetapi lebih kepada selenggara, seperti penyelengara yang mengendalikan sesuatu maka dia bertanggungjawab atas tugas itu. kalau tak tentu sengsara kerana tak dapat menjawab kenapa tugas tak selesai. maka dia yang tanggung akibatnya. gara-gara tak menyelenggarakan dengan betul tugas itu. habis tunggang langgang dia menanggung tanggungjawab itu.

shout

it's been more than a week.. unconnected to my other world or into some other people world, into their words, wisdom, joy or the whatever. i'm so tied up. but i guess thats not important now. enough of the busyness of the moment. is there a word like busyness? argh...forget about it.

i think i'm gonna bebel it all out. dont care if anybody care. so what's does it gonna be? no idea.

u know sometimes i think we're all just puppets and dolls. taking for granted everything that been fed. never pause to ask why. we agree with the majority coz the majority will win and it hurts to be a loser. minority is not a good place to be. afraid to be called silly. angguk2 geleng2 ikut rentak macam burung kakak tua nyanyuk yang hanya nak kraker. kalau yang di ikut betul takpe. kalau betul pun ngape tak tanya? supaya lebih faham. to appreciate more.

why do people send their children to schools? becoz everybody is doing it. becoz its the law. cant education be better than school only?.or does school is really enough? then hoping their children to the uni. clever little boy, anak bapak, high edu, high salary, good life. Education is a business itself. promising a better life. man create a system and push people to agree. i tell u school is a must, edu is, but not enough. stop here.

i'm bebeling as it goes, so forgive me if it doesnt make sense to you, who ever you are.

as far as religion is, how many of us could say that they really know why they are devoters to their religion? I was born a muslim. I should be thankful. I am. But sometimes, I think people who aren't born a muslim and converted to be one, is better in terms of discovering and embracing the teachings. better than me, speaking for myself. I mean just think, these people questioned their meaning of life, searching, seeking the truth, understanding the messages of God and later find peace in themselves and in their lives. while me, taken for granted everything, taking from textbooks, learning from so called wise man and yes they are wise but afraid or never ask why? why? fear. i imagine myself and ask myself, what if i was born to a different type of religion or belief family? i think u should ask urself this question too. will we find the truth? the truth is the truth but where does it comes from? i now realized that i got to find the meaning of 'naik saksi'. what does it means. u get me? go to the roots of the matter. to get down to the nitty gritty. until then will i rest at peace with myself. finding myself is the key. and thats what it means by life education. stop here.

korang ngk tak malaysian idol? sucks! and i blame it all at the judges. i mean they choose these bunch before the sms voting. so it leave us ( or the voters, i am never an sms voter) not much choice. the 12 finalist got talent but not that so good to be an idol u see. I've seen the auditions and i think there are better ones than these dozen. but the lame judges pick out these 12. argh..kcuf mi2! forget it!

i come to think that reality shows are getting too real. to the point of faking. after the first season everybody know how's the game is played and nobody seems to genuine anymore. u can see it on the apprentice, af, idol, swan, every other reality show. so what is reality? reality is about being fake to get in front. u can vote urself cant u? ur father is the tokey kayu balak, why not? just like politic i think, where u can buy votes too. now everybody starts to get into the band wagon. reality all the way. britney does it, paris does it, branson does it. when will it stop? i only can say that bersamamu is totally the show that shows reality. and what about the other show mencari cinta? big time lame as a kambeng face in the rain. why not put a show mencari tuhan? or mencari ayah pin : where are hiding man?

But come to think of it, like the saying, life is a stage. from shakespeare i think. then we are all actors. we act daily all the time. what about pro wrestling? i think they are all great actors. yet people believed that they really fighting. there's good guys and bad guys. I was once that people. Now no more. Exposure, maturity and common sense changed me. but then, its ok to love em. i mean why not? just treat em like a live performance. a play like in threatre. plain entertainment. just like the movies. never real just acting. pure entertainment to the amused. why not? right?

Fry Day

Semalam aku lepak kat Singgah Selalu ngan 2 skool buddies. Bising la kat branch Danga Bay. Nyesal plak gi sini. Busan giler aku tak gerak2 dari umah sejak 2,3 hari ni.Projek takleh jalan selagi fund tak masuk. Beladineraka btul! Nasib baik ingat pesan atuk..sabar, sabar, sabar, sabar!

Tapi bising pon takpe la. Member aku ni ajak lepak pasal bini dia ke sarawak kursus, so boring la tue. Tapi tiba, order makan, pastu bergayut kan telpon ngan bini lak. Pastu sms. Ler baik takyah lepak. Tapi takpe kan, bini die bukan bini aku. Tetiba fren aku sms fr kl. Aku lak berbalas sms. Budak tu anto sms lawak la konon. "At the age of 33, he quits smoking (will power) at 43, he quits drinking (will power), at 53, he quit gambling (will power), at 63, he quits SEX (Power failure)". huhahahahaha...tapi aku balas sms die "At 73, he discovers Tongkat Ali (POWER!!). She replied, "hahaha..at 83, he 's caught jiggying wit power puff grannies". Aku replied back, "No la, he died 2 days afterward from heart attack n kena simbah cuka getah!". Aku menang!! hehe...

Then, as I typin sms, dapat call, "khairi, we r u? need 2 c u...". bla..bla..bla...ok la meet u 12pm. at Tmn Pelangi. But 12.45am aku sampai kat Larkin Perdana. Dah 2 bulan aku tak jumpa mamat ni. 2 bulan aku menjauh. Aku elak jumpa. Sms aku jarang jawab. Why? aku nak fokus kat projek aku. But today tah, aku rasa aku kena jumpa.

"I dah lama nak jumpa u. Lama tak bual. U ada masalah ke?"..bla l..bla..la...."O..patut la lama tak jumpa"...
"Sebenarnya aku dah dpt position in A co..with my ol fren Datuk W, if everythin goes well, i'll be his share partner, director to handle some big projects in Kedah n JB...dats y i want to see u..."

dalam hati, "aku? nak apa?aku takde xperience in constructions ma...".

" i will need some ppl to join me, somebody i trust n can learn n wants to be part of the team..."

dlm hati, "Ok jugak, tp projek aku kena jalan, projek aku, co aku, baru nak start , ...kalau offer bagus ok la...", sambil kepala angguk2. conversation continues till 4am...n off to this cc...

Whatever je la, aku tak harap sgt2, sebab aku dah berhenti mengharap kat projek org, bukan putus asa, tapi bila terlalu mengharap janji2 org, kekadang2 risiko je kecewa...juga sesangat....jadi aku ngk je la rezki, aku ckp kat die thanks la ingat member..kalau jadi call me la. Tapi aku sebenarnya dah taknak makan gaji. Tetapi kalau keje die bagi ade freedom, excitement, significant n bayo bagus mungkin aku amik. Nengok la...Klau sebulan dapat RM3 ribu above atau ade extra comm..maybe aku amik. Bukan demand, tapi aku rasa value aku sebenarnye lebih tinggi dari tu. Nengoklah...

Skrg dah pukul 6.30am, aku kena balik aku rasa..sebab pukul 9.30am kena kuar gi kota tinggi. amik brg2 aku yg masih berbaki kat umah lama. Penting tu, mag2 gitar2 aku n sijil2 aku termasuk surat beranak aku, sebab esok aku nak buat mykad n nak tukar no baru sebab dulu no ic aku salah buat, tarikh lahir aku lebih setahun. Bila esok buat aku akan jadi setahun muda...hehehe...

O ya, bestnye ahad ni aku dpt geng jammin baru...tapi tak kenal lagi..but ofkoss kena main lagu2 lama la. Aku minta kawan aku pilh drummer solid sikit. Member aku lak request lagu Hoobastank, the reason...malas lak nak carik. tapi lagu tu aku rasa kacang. esok la ak cari.

Ishh, ngantuk siak...aku chow dulu la...

MOSHERATTUS FLING*FLONG ~
How can I cheat death when life play tricks on me?
How can I play dead when pain is all I see?
How can I laugh when my life is a joke?
How can I cry when I know it's a lie?
***************************************
Bagaimana aku mahu mengelak kebinasaan sedangkan hidup penuh permainan?
Bagaimana aku mahu berdiam diri sedangkan kesengsaraan di sana sini?
Bagaimana aku mahu ketawa sedangkan hidupku satu jenaka?
Bagaimana aku mahu mengalir airmata sedangkan aku tahu itu semua dusta?

mosH - Ooooooiiiii...........

BUKAN POYO!!

Dah dekat semingu aku tak blog. Well aku sakit n buat2 sibuk. U know what they say " if u ain' bz then u r not important!". So bagi mereka2 yg tak bz, buat2 la bz even to the point of bzbody. Okeh aku ade byk nak tulis, but at this moment perut sgt lapar. Oleh kerana aku tak mengizinkan bontotku bangun dari kusi ini maka aku akan berposa sehingga pukul 5 pagi ni di mana aku akan go straight to restoran 25 jam kat larkin for breakfast of roti prata(without kas-kas).

Aku byk tulis2 bubbles2ku (some might say poems or sajak, i prefer to name em bubbles, bubbles of my mind) di kertas2 nota ku yg sentiasa aku bawa ke sana ke sini. Takut2 kebosanan melanda, maka pen n kertas jadi member setiaku. Kalau sempat aku akan blog ari ni. This past week aku tk boleh tdo selagi tak sampai pukul 5 atau 6 pagi. Dont know why. Well ade astro EPL menolong but boredom cepat menyelinap lebih2 lagi pasukan aku Newcastle Utd main macam thaikkurcingg! Tadi aku amik amp, guitar n some music books aku dari umah member aku, so kalau aku takleh tdo atleast aku boleh practise my chops or write some songs.

Well, aku nak blog pasal album2 yg aku miliki, so maybe can share with u my tots on my music collections. Well aku start ngan album Adflin 'The slumberkodok dude" Shauki, Fuuyo! and n album from Al Di Meola "Elegant Gypsy". Aku rasa korang pon dah tau pasal PROJECT ADFLIN SHAUKI DAH HILANG AKAL .Aku pon ader oder, dan aku dapat kelmarin. Bad newsnye aku dapat kaset instead of CD. So aku dah email sekali lagi utk dapat CD lak, hopely dia anto.

FUUYO! REVIEW


well aku tak penah dengo adflin nyanyi serius sebelum ni. Album ni aku tau dah lama kuar, tapi aku tak jumpa di pasaran. Aku rasa dia lack promosi. Jadi pasal Adflin ni karektornya lucu, maybe aku ingat dulu la , album ni mesti album lawak..mcm album Salih Yacob n etc. Tu lah masalahnye bile org kelakor, risikonye people susah nak terima serius things. But after dengo album ni, I cud say dat its a good album n deserved to be in my prized music collections. Just look at the cover n inlay, gud quality. And even mastered in AUSTRALIA 301 studio. The 1st n 2nd track jumps staights to my ears on 1st listening. The music reminds me of Jamirouqai meets Macy Gray, funky n acidic jazz. Playing onwards, you will hear more jazzy stuff lounge kinda groove towards the end of the album. There's also pop ballads like Glenn kinda song. And in side two, I suddenly hear a familliar sound which turn out to be a song i heard before in the radio. And didnt know then that it was the slambakodok dude on vocals...hmm. Well all in all, get this album coz its not POYO but FUUYO! and you wont regret it!

ELEGANT GYPSY REVIEW


Saper Al Di Meola ? Well, he is a very very fast jazz guitar player. Dunno if he is still alive (i think he is). Macamana aku bole beli CD ni? semuanya pengaruh abang aku. Bile dia takde aku akan menyelongkar kaset2 collection dier masa aku kecik2. Antaranya ofkoss kaset Al. Aku decide beli CD ni bile aku teringat satu hari akan kesedapan (slurp!) album ni. It was years back n i bought it at TOWER bkt bintang plaza. Klau korang nak carik, ngk kat section jazz n classical. Album ini dirakam sebelum ku lahir, senang citer era 70an but the music so fresh. Try dengo Running With The Devil On Spanish Highway n all the tracks with your room lit with candles only n berbaring relax, tersangat la besh! Sampai sekarang aku rasa aku tak boleh main gitar seterer Al...iskhishkiskh...

Bergolek2 Dengan Gincu

Last week aku ngk Gol & Gincu kat wayang. Benda yg jarang2 aku buat. Ngk citer melayu. Well mula2 masa nak masuk aku segan lak nak beli tiket,pasal seme beli in group or couple,aku sorang2. Citer yg ader Stealth, Bewitched, Citer Hindustan, Ungu Violet & citer ciner & ofkos Gol & Gincu. So tolak citer industan (yg gerenti aku takan ngk walaupun free) & citer cine tuh(lain la ade Stephen Chow) tinggal lagi 4. Stealth, aku takde mood nak ngk citer action. Anyway member aku dah beli vcd dier(pinjamlagi bagus). Bewitched, walaupon aku suke sama Nicole tapi aku rasa watak ini bukan utk dia,she shud act in better film not a remake of this one. Maybe i will ngk vcd dier. So tinggal G&G n Ungu Violet. Mesia vs Indon. At least in my head anyway. Pikir punye pikir,what the neraka! Lets watch G&G!

So pay RM9 at counter and masuk time dah gelap (so no farkin people c me,not dat i'm malu watching malay film,NO! juz dat dont wanna ppl thinking, sapalah mamat ni dtg sorang? eh,WTF! nape aku pikir gini ek, aku nak ngk sorang2 sukati gorilla aku la! betui! betui! so next time aku masuk terang2...)

One thing aku notice film ni, gambo die terang n sharp,tak taulah pasal cinema ni ke atau proses film tuh. So gud, gud, i said to maself. Coz sometimes gambo ade itu apa org panggil mcm rambut kat screen dier. Tak besh lah kan? Cuba ko order mee goreng atau apa2 la and discover ada rambut kat mee ko tu. Bayangkan apa perasaan ko? N rambut tuh ko pasti bukan rambut atau bulu hidung ko atau pun misai udang kat mee tuh...tentu tak selera ek? Mcm gitulah aku...tak suka ade rerambut skrin tuh. Aku pentingkan kualiti (cheh! mcm bagus lak) Sebab tuh aku memilih hanya DVD9 ataupon VCD citakrum yg terbaik kopinyer aje..hehe.

Wah dah kejauh sampai ke mee lak aku. OK back to G&G review...

Cinematography nye bagus. Skrip sederhana tapi fresh. Fazura ok, Shasha bagus, scene playing futsal sucks! tak menyakinkan,but cukup utk deliver skrip. Extras dat deserves a pat on the back (or backside,whatver!) , the one playin J (juita) & the fat one. All other cast was good. Khatijah Tan watak yg sama kebelakangan ni, so takde new challenge for her.

Watak fazura (putri) mengingatkan aku watak spt Heather Graham (aku lupe la title movie tuh) and Lindsay Lohan (mean girls,teenage drama queen). Kire ok la, she dapat menjiwai watak tuh, but the watak is actually quite ez. Shasha is the better watak. (eh,watak dlm ingeliss apa? lupe lak...juz on the tip of my sweet tongue)

Secara keseluruhan film ni tak merugikan duit aku la ngk. Puasati la kireye. Korang yg belum ngk g lah ngk. Film ini aku gredkan atau masukkan dlm kategori remaja ringan.Kat US tiap tahun berlambak kuar jenis film camni. But apalah Malaywood (eh kalau translate jadi melayu kayu lak,tak besh!) ngan Hollywood kan? But kalau korang nak ngk film melayu remaja (mcm aku,remaja..hehe) yg bercirikan Malaysia, THIS IS THE FILM TO WATCH THIS YEAR!

And aku rasa aku akan go watch Bernard nye film akan dtg kalau ada...

WAYANG SIAPA KALAU BUKAN WAYANG KITA (yeyekelapalautakuni)

Writings

8/17/73 Enter Date of Birth 31 Age
(american date system) Friday Day you were born
11,684 Days lived
383 Months lived
31 years, 11 months, 27 days Exact age as at 13/08/05
280422:17:30 Time alive (Press & Hold F9 button)
280,422 Hours lived
16825337 Minutes lived
1009520250 Seconds lived

93,474 Approx hours slept
3,895 Days sleeping
33% % of life asleep
10.7 Years asleep

1,211,424,300 Approx number of heart beats

Leo Zodiac Sign
Ox Chinese Star Sign

Sean Penn, Jim Courier, Robert DeNiro Share Birthday with

40 Desired Retirement Age 8 Years to Retirement
8/16/13 Retirement Date 2925 Days to Retirement
2,089 Approx number of workdays

Enter Marriage Date Not Married Years Married
Years to 50th Golden Anniversary
Years to 25th Silver Anniversary


nombor2 dalam hidup aku. banyak gak ek? Tapi nombor tetap nombor, tiada jiwanya tersendiri. Kekal sebagai objek ukuran hidup. Mati pon mungkin gak ada nombor. Berapa kali kena hantam dgn ulor beso, seksa dan sebagainya. Ade agaknye. Gua ni membebel lak pagi ni. Tak tidor dari kul 7pm semalam sampai sekarang, so dah brapa jam dah? Ah malas nak kira la...kan dah ckp tadi nombor tetap nombor je, tiada jiwa. Sakit jiwa lak.

Masa (nombor gak) terasa mcm slow gile baban bile aku dlm keadaan menunggu sejak due menjak ni. Tapi bila nak cepat, tengah kejar sesuatu, alahai...tak cukup kaki nak kejar masa. Masa o masa...

Right now, headphoneku berbunyi lagu Epic from Faith No More. Lama tak dengo lagu ni. Korang ingat lagi tak FNM? Sebelum Rage Against The Machine, Korn, Lim Biskut dan memacam lagi nu metal or so called rap metal ade, doranglah yg mencampuradukkan ckit 2 jenis (atau lebih) genre musik nih. Kalau tak pernah dengor belilah album yg ciplak pon takpe.

Nothin new to write la. Company aku still merangkak, maklumlah baru seminggu jalan. Fund pon tarak masuk. Tu yang rasa slow je masa nak tunggu duit mashok.


Everyday we are writing our book of Destiny. We are riding the sail of life Possibilities. It's a bumpy journey. Sometimes with Unexpected situations and Sudden suprises. Everyday is a different Page. The ink dried fast for the page After. A new Chapter will be written and some things will be left and Forgotten. There's no Clue what would happen in the Next episode, the next Drama or The next Trauma. When the Day is over and the Shadows are Gone away, and the Body lay, the Mind runs a replay and Plot the new Play the next day.Writing on the Virtual papers of destiny Away...

Reborn

I'm getting lazy to write. Lots of my thoughts gone to my personal goal this year. It's already July and I didn't got even close to my targets. It's all or never. So my dear fellow bloggers and also all my blogs, its going to be sometime until I'll blog as usual.

The best thing about getting busy again is getting out of my comfort zone and doing something more concrete. June saw me getting in touch with old friends from school days. Once you found one, then like a chain reaction, you'll get to meet others. It's so great!!'And by that I'm getting more opportunities. Ways to reach my goals. It's certainly not the time to give up. I'm gonna get reborn. A revolution inside. Most of my old friends are into owning business which is amazing. One owns a fuel station, one supplies medical equipments, some stays in their professional careers and thinking about shifting to starting own business. It's funny when to think that we once run around the classes, quiting classes and playing around stupidly, and now become like serious. Hahaha..but not old.

Ok blog i,m off to work..

sTILL*bored

Bile tokleh tido, apakah yang patut anda buat?
a) Buat bodo (kecuali jika anda memang bodoh, ni tak apllicable)
b) Kacau org lain yg sedang tido
c) Dengor SOAD

Apakah yang anda perlu buat apabila seorang pompuan cantik yang anda tak kenali asyik memandang ke arah anda?

1) Periksa zip seluar, tutup tak?
2) Perhatikan betul2 mata awek tu, juling tak?
3) Pastikan tiada bendasing2 yang tak sepatutnya bergantung di lubang hidung anda
4) Pandang ke belakang anda, pastikan tiada Brad Pitt atau mamat yg lebih ensem
5) Jika pada waktu malam yang sunyi, pastikan kaki nya jejak tanah
6) Pastikan jugak anda tak berada di kawasan bapok2 berkeliaran
7) Alah..senyum je lah, senyumkan sedekah.

bosannyeeeeee

Arhh! Bowing!

Aku tak takut air, aku hanya takut lemas
Aku tak takut tinggi, aku hanya takut terjatuh
Aku tak takut laju-laju, aku takut terbabas
Aku tak takut jadi penakut, aku cuma tak nak kalut
************************************

Kenapalah mamat tuh kelam kabut motobot,
kalau dah tau kerja, prepare lah awal2,
Nota kena tulis supaya tak lupa
Arrangement mesti tip top!
Kalau tak de self discipline mana2 pegi pon sama.
Time is money tau!
Sometimes sleep is money too!
Kadang2 aku ambil jalan mudah, tutop mulot, diam!
Kalau bercakap nanti cakap aku lebih pandai
Atau macam aku pandai sangat.
Kalau aku diam tuh, maknanya¡K.
whatever ko suka la laboo, lantak la..as long as u happy
**bebelan diatas takde kena mengena perotku yg lapor
dan terlebih tido semalam**

Ley Zee

Juz got back from KL yesterday. Dunno, too lazy to blog today.
Many things on my mind. If only I can lay em one by one.
And empty some space in the head for a while.
And bring only the things needed today.
That would be just great. For today anyway.
But i gez, i cant. And those things need to be done fast.
Before they mount and multiplied into a mind tsunami.
Nothing much in KL, day 1 meet new people -
Bahrin - a teacher, Hafiz -HR in Maybank.
Day 2 - Zamri - A medical marketer, Salleh - Goverment servant
Day 3, En. Suboh, En, Usop, Cik Wan & her friend plus this 18 yr old kid
all from Tawau, Lahad Datu respectively.
Got into the wrong route bus to JB.
And lastly, an old Aci yang sesat di JB, pity her but at last she got home with my help.
And looking back, i gez everything happens for a good reason afterall.
Chow!

Life in Mono

Today, i rest my mind from the big things in life.
At least what i think is big in my life.
I miss the small things that i used to do.
The small things that are great in personal satisfaction.
I¡¦m taking some time off today to do some of those things.
*********************************************
Kadang-kadang manusia yang bernama kawan ni meminta lebih
daripada apa yang dia patut terima. Dalam ketaksedaran itu, mereka
terlupa akan tanggungjawab timbal balik yang mereka patut beri.
Dan pihak yang satu lagi yang bernama kawan juga akan terpaksa
memberi ruang-ruang tolak ansur dan memenuhkan pula ruangan
sabar pada diri mereka. Tetapi kesabaran ada hadnya, dan kesabaran
itu sendiri perlu bernafas sebelum tenggelam semula ke dasar tolakansur.
*************************************************
Kenapa orang suka nengok rancangan realiti?

Aku rasa..
1) Manusia sememangnya kepoh dan ingin tahu hal orang lain.
2) Escapism
3) Berkongsi kejayaan orang lain

Kenapa orang produce rancangan realiti tv?
1) Buat duit
2) Buat duit
3) Buat duit banyak lagi

Idea2 realiti show aku..
1) Aksi2 dan muka2 artis malaysia dan dunia tengah meneran dalam
tandas dan korek idung.
Bayangkan muka CT atau Kak Pah, atau JLo, atau Maya Karin.
Menarik bukan?
2) King of Sausages Eater.
Bayangkan pertandingan makan sosej oleh kakitangan Jakim untuk
mencari Juara makan sosej kebangsaan.

Pro Mrs.

They say too much of a good thing would kill you. Hmm..maybe it's true.
What about too much of a bad thing? Would it give life?
The question is, what kind of life?

*************************************************
Corporate collar tags that pulls you here and there.
Buys your pain and fries your brain.
I'm tired of the game. Now i'm playing on the other end.

**************************************************
These few days sucked the life of me.
Chasing time and no space for breathing.
It's the promise I've made to myself and the people who trust.
I cant back out now, it's too early.
I need energy, I need protein. I need Carb. I need water.
I need emo shelter.
"Nothing is too small to know and nothing is too big to attempt"¨- William Van Horne.

Da N

The end is near. It's been said over and over. Heard it like a gazillion times.
Like a busted amp, buzzing endlessly from the mouths of the know-it-all.
The cycle never breaks. It's spinning and spinning as I type this entry.
As the saying, "Ending is a new beginning". A beginning to whatever.
Whence? and whither? Questions that needs constant learning.
Sometimes I asked myself, "Am I living a dream? or am I living my dream?"
I choose to live it, after some thinking. I believe in the power of a dream.
I choose to be a dreamer than stuck in the rat race for nothing.
Am I happy? Well, sometimes I'm sad. And that's the beauty of it all.
You need to feel the bad times to appreciates the good times.
*************************************************************

All I want is a piece of peace..

give and take..

for the sake of all human beings..

forever..

"I think, therefore I exist" - forgot who said this, but somebody famous and died many many years ago I'm sure.

Marnee

Man made money. Create the system. Safeguard the value.
And suddenly, it becomes religion to most people.
Slave to their own invention. Money becomes God.
People work their ass to the grave for money.
It should be the other way around. It's a constant battle for me.
I'm in war for myself. The system should work for me.
People in the past worshipped tombs and religious objects.
People now worships their new God, TV, PC,cars, football, etc.
Getting suck in is very easy, getting out is a struggle.
**************************************************


"People who works for money and gets paid for money alone is always underpaid.
Money is necessary, but the big prize in life cannot be measure by dollars and cents"

Diss 'A Point

I see life as a digital wallpaper
Moving pictures with no end credits.
Someday I'll torn these walls and get to the other side
or any other sides there is
But "someday" is a sad word
Just like "if only" and "how i wish"
******************************************
Ideas are just ideas without action¨
If you don't like critics, do nothing, be nothing!

Rekuperit

Sickness is not a friend to those who not know why.
A drug is an angel in time of need.
Taste dissapears.
Recuperating.
****************************************

I don't blame people who can't see my reality.
I don't hate them for their lack of interest and knowledge.
I understand that we are not living in the same reality.
Our dimensional size of thought and vision are different.
But we can live in the same world, breathe the same air.
Share a spot and a common space to eat and breed.
We need not to challenge each other for supremacy.
We can learn to live together.
Feed on each other.

lock n' loll

Sometimes night or day seems the same to me
It only tells that the earth has complete a spin, circle or whatever
It only tells me that times moved and moving further

Night doesn't mean sleep to me
Day doesn't mean awake to me
Coz' I can sleep all day if I want to
And be up all night if I like to

Falling

The hardest thing about going up and staying on top is falling down
The painful thing about falling down is getting up and about again
The difficult thing about getting up is doing it all over again
The tiring thing about doing it again is facing the obstacles again and again

But the most important thing about falling down is learning to be humble
Teaches pain equals gain, failure is temporary defeat and the past does not equals the future
The priceless experience of going through the challenges and the birth of new hope
Teaches dreams are what makes me human, makes me worth more than just flesh and bones

I'll be like water from top of hills and mountains
I'll flow and flow, never give in and give out
Around the roots and rocks, below and above the soils,
All the way to where I want to be, Where I should be
On the feet of the hills and mountains, on the head of the river and streams
Flowing and flowing into the Sea Of Hope and Dreams

Missing Link

something is missing here. Or some dissipating values.
when i closed my eyes, i've lost one sense.
just can't explained this feeling.
in the darkness, one can hear one's heartbeat louder.
knowing u;re alive enough to feel the pain.
life sucks sometimes

Ass'em ass

Got an sms. Reads, ¨ Rindulah kat u all¨
It's 1.28am. Reply at 3.34a.m, Kuarlah dari sarang, Sadam pun dah kuar¨
Sometimes I really don't understand people. They say they miss you but they never reply back.
Sometimes it's not really the distance. Sometimes it's the things that they can't tell you. I try to them understand here.
The block in the roads of life.
Just wait then.
Posted in life sucks!

Distress Mode

My sleeping pattern changes. And so does my moods. Mood swings? tah!,it's been two weeks, consuming less food, sleeps late, very late,after watching Indon channel (that's the only channel screening)hit the sack around 6.30am,pengsan,waking up blurred,like dead tv,fuzzy,dizzy,whats wrong with me??

Nevertheless, my pen moves.. and moving..

Penawar Kalbu 5.05am 4/2/05

Akukah ini yang semakin hilang
dalam igauan halunisasi silam
mendambakan harapan janji-janji palsu
idaman hampa, kosong dan sia
Mencari sinar pelukan hangat
dari sisa-sisa mimpi semalam
Kini berteduh di tenda duka
Menanti saat menjelang datang
bahtera makna melayarkanku pergi
ke wilayah asing tetapi damai
Setenang bayu berhembus segar
ku pasrah, ku terima, ku syukuri
ku kenali sanubariku sendiri
Yang hilang bukan aku lagi
Yang jelang datang menganti
menyerap ke jiwa, menusuk ke hati
mengisi ruang kalbu yang gering
penawar lara, pengubat duka dan luka
Engkau yang satu, Engkau yang suci

Ada Lagi Aku 5.45am

Kotak fikir sempit dan menyesakkan
Lemas, cemas, peluh mengalir
Penat, lelah, getir dan bisa
Berhenti bukan perintah mudah
Kawalan kabur, pening dan pusing
Berputar, berputar, tiada imbangan
Udara semakin nipis, harapan tipis
Yang tebal hanya sakit dan perit
Sesak, tegang mencari pegangan
Mana pergi waras dan logika?
Gelap, keliru dan menakutkan
Mencari, mengumpul saki tenaga
untuk terus dalam sedar akal
Masaku belum tiba lagi
Banyak kerja belum selesai
Misi gagal bukan pilihan
Ada lagi masa, kata hati
Ada lagi!, jerit otak
Ada lagi!, sahut jiwa
Aku percaya
Aku percaya

Time the best healer, or is it?

Today is 31st January 2005. Sekejap je masa bergerak. Pelik. There are two possibilities to why time feels like flies at supersonic speed, at least for me. One, the earth is spinning faster and faster. And so is the galaxy system. Duh! sounds stupid! But then again, I'm not a scientist and it's just a possibility. Second, I'm pursuing something or actually a lot of things that i feel there's always not enough time. Catching up with deadlines and targets. Too busy and as always feel like time is not on my side. Then come the question of death. It occurs to me one day that I'm actually dying away each second of every minute of everyday of my life. Tick tick tick tock..getting near to the end. I concluded that living is actually dying. Or to be exact, the process of dying. A micro rigor mortis of life. The big question is, am I ready to die? A question, quickly ignored by my concious mind. If a picture of darkness, tight space, loneliness and punishments clouds the mind about death then that thought will surely kill instantly. Then lies the answer that i'm afraid of death.
But then, if a picture of serenity, peace, calm and joy that describes death or the next world, automactically death is not to be afraid of. My favorite option is forget about it, do what i can do, ready or not, the day will come. I rest my future destiny of the other side in God¡¦s hand. Yup, God the Almighty, He knows everything. God gave everybody young and old, rich or poor, the same amount of time, 24hrs a day. People say time heals, right now I'm not sure coz sometimes time kills.

Dead Poet Society

Takde masa blog banyak2 keje banyak semalam tokleh tido pen bergerak2, membebel jadilah kat bawah..

Tenggelam 26.01.05 5.37am
Aku terbang ke bintang jauh
Aku bisik ¡¥tuk menumpang sinar
Walau sekejap tapiku rela
Dari dekat menanggung seksa
Aku tegur bulan mengambang
Bicara sejenak tentang dunia
Tiada indah katanya di mata
Jika jiwa tak sampai pun jua
Aku tahan angin di awan
Berlalu tanpa ku dihirau dia
Tidak kelihatan tapi ku rasa
Hendak ku sapa hilang suara
Lalu ku genggam tanah di tangan
Baru ku sedar ke atas angan
Aku jejaki dataran nan sepi
Menyusuri alam tiada bertepi
mencari erti sebuah mimpi

rear view

Book :
I finished reading Losing My Virginity : Autobiography of Richard Branson, cool book, very thick and i just cant get enough. From Richard early age, school, lovelife to being the man who setting records and having his own mega business, the Virgin Group of companies including Virgin Atlantic, the commercial air service. Lots of humor and i love the way he form and build Virgin Records plus stories about his artistes, Mike Oldfield, The Sex Pistols, Phil Collins, Boy George, etc. I very much recommend this book to anyone who loves music, passion to achieve his/her dream and love life!
Price : Free, my fren from australia gave me as they are off back to down under. they did a garage sale and i bought 2 novels for rm10, very cheap. nobody wanna buy this book, so Lynn give it to me since i help her sold some books plus she said im the one holding the book for quite some time.hahaha. actually i was about to buy it, but then she said it was mine, so¡K
VCD :
Meet The Fockers, funny, but not as funny as Kung Fu Hustle, Stephen Chow rawks! but great performance as always by Dustin Hoffman and De NiRO.
Ocean Twelve, well what can i say, it sucks! i fallen asleep at the 1st cd¡K
Price : Free again, actually kawan i bagi pinjam. I was with him at the vcd stall, when i want to buy some vcds, he would said, that one i bought already, this one also, this one also¡Kso why buy when u can borrow, right? You should have seen the face of the guy who sells the vcd, kinda pissed since i didnt bought any¡K
DVD:
The Wind Fighter, Korean true story about a korean guy who beat every Japanese martial arts fighter, Judo, Karate, Akaido, Samurai, whatever u name it, he beat them all¡Kvery entertaining, great stuff!
Price : refer to VCD price..eheh
ACD:
System Of A Down : Steal this Album!. Since my pc still wosak, all my mp3 stuck there in the hard disk. So i kinda miss SOAD. This copy includes all the song from toxicity album too, so its worth my ringgit! I also bought, Black Eye Peas : Elephunk, well same reason ere¡K
Price : RM7 per cd, well pirate copy is always handy and economic¡K

Days of Thunder

2005, why? 2004, goodbye, 2003, forgotten¡K,2002, dont wanna remember, 2001,lost..,2000 millineum bugs that bugs!sucks!
forgive my mumbling..aku tension these few days...everything seems not ok..tunggulah tonite maybe aku dapat new energy meeting new people...maybe...

I need water!!

kcuf! kcuf! this damned pc! i¡¦ve been writing for 15minutes then suddenly its gone! the beladi post is gone! damn!

Drive

I love driving. Driving in a certain comfortable and good condition gives me pleasure. Joy. It gives me a certain feel of freedom and superiority. Superiority over time and distance. Sometimes it feels like flying. With the wind in my ace and hair. With the sound of radio friendly tunes coming off from the stereo. Alone in control in the driver's seat. Right hand on the steering and the left on the gear shift. With the Rayban on the face. Singing and sometimes lip-synching to the songs blasted from the radio. I'm in control. I'm free for the moment. A comfortable and good condition means that the car is in well condition. The road is not conjested. Traffic is moving smoothly. The wheather is good ( I don't like driving in the rain). Most important is that i'm not in a hurry or late to somewhere or for something.

I hate bad roads. Potholes, uneven tar, poor signages and lines, bad roadlights or worse no roadlights or light reflectors. I hate disfunctional trafic lights. I hate bad drivers. Those that drives with their butss on their heads and brains (if they got any) on their buns. Drivers with no sense of safety or politeness to fellow roadmembers. Who wants to show off or prove something on the roads and at the same time endagering others. The only thing they proved is their stupidity and the lack of brain power. They are dangerous and reckless. I hate bikers that have their bike's tail light off. Either the light bulb blows or they deliberately turn it off. It's hard to see them in the night, especially when the the highway is poorly lit. And they worn dark clothings and no light reflector stickers on their helmets.

I do not understand their negligence for their safety. A speeding truck, lorry or bus or even a car could easily hit them. Their life is like a timebomb. More like a booby trap or a landmine waiting for someone to step on. Or seamines waiting for a ship or a vessel to hit it. And when it did, BOOM!! A tragedy. They and the hitters becomes just another statistic numbers and digits.

I do not want o add to the figures and statistics. I don't want to be eaten by steel collisions. I just wanna fly safely in my car, humming my favorite songs and arrive at my selected destinations.